In the spring of 2018, a few months before my 26th birthday, I made a list of goals for the remainder of my 20s. What did I want to do over the next four years? What did I want to achieve? And most importantly, what kind of person did I want to become by my 30th birthday?
When I first began to write these down, I struggled. There was so much unknown! At the time, I had no idea where I would be living even two years from that moment, let alone four. And where I live is not even my decision at the moment. That is determined by the United States Air Force. Yet that affects everything – the job market, cost of living, travel opportunities, etc.
Most of what I’ve been taught about goal setting is to be as specific as possible. I could have easily closed my notebook at the point, but I could not let that be an excuse. I had to decide what I wanted to work on that that I could do from anywhere in the world. Sure, it didn’t make sense to put down a specific company where I’d like to work in the future, but I could note the industry or certain skills I wanted to be well-versed in. And my character is with me no matter where I go. It then became a fun challenge to really think and get serious about where I wanted to be at 30 without literally knowing where I was going to be. So, I got the four-year plan down. (Phew!)
But at the beginning of 2019, when the moderator in a vision casting workshop asked us to imagine (in great detail) where you’d like to be in 10 years, I had no idea. It was difficult enough to come up with a four year + three month plan. Now 10 years!?
Let me back up – what I said before was not accurate. It wasn’t that I had no idea, rather, I had far too many ideas! There were all sorts of things I desired for my life – goals I would love to achieve by then, places I want to visit and experience in person, and different ways I want to make a living. I needed to narrow it down, get specific, and realistic, too. So much of what was in my head felt too abstract, too far off, merely a dream versus something I could actually turn into reality.
So…what do you really want, Jessica? This has been on my mind throughout the entire year. Slowly, I began to have a better idea of the kind of life I wanted 37-year-old me to be living, but it still wasn’t too too specific.
During our holiday in the Cotswolds, we talked about what we both envisioned for our life together ten years down the road. What began as a little day dreaming over flat whites at the Frogmill quickly became a topic of conversation all weekend long…
We did not plan on this ahead of time. It simply happened organically. (Isn’t that the best!?) Of course, this wasn’t the first time we talked of such things. That’s half the excitement of dating, isn’t it? Dreaming about what life can look like if you decide to take it on together. Once you’re married, you begin the work of actually building out that vision. But it was the first time in a while we looked so far ahead and the first time we ever got this specific. We started making plans [and reviewing our investment strategy]. And by the end of the weekend, this dream of ours felt tangible.
Scott has 10 years left in the Air Force before he can retire. It’s kind of the perfect deadline (hello 10-year plan!) for us to decide and prepare for what we want to do when he gets out. Where do we want to live? What do we want to do for work? (Scott tells me he’ll be a stay-at-home dad and let me take over being the family breadwinner. 😉) How do we want to spend our days? Our time? Our money?
Ever since we met, Scott has talked about owning a ranch one day. Like father, like son. I joke that I can tell when Scott has had a tough week at work because he starts looking for land for sale when he gets home. 😏 While I don’t like the idea of working an entire ranch, I do like the idea of living on land in the country. Over time, Scott has realized that, no, he does not want to spend all of his time working cattle, etc., either. We would love to own land near the mountains and water – where I can hike, Scott can fly-fish, and we can raise our kids surrounded by nature. And I am sure we will have animals, just not so many that taking care of them would be a full-time job.
It has always been a dream, though. A “someday we can…” or “maybe one day we will…”, but during our weekend in the Cotswolds, we got serious about it. We realize this isn’t something that will just happen on its own. If we want to make it a reality, we have to begin planning and saving for it now.
We want to buy land near the mountains and build a house to raise our babies in. That sounds like one heck of a plan to me!
Now, that’s not our only dream. We have a number of other goals – in our careers, health and wellness, character growth and personal development, our faith walks, relationships with friends and family, service, and travel – but these are not mutually exclusive. In fact, this dream will provide a foundation for and help shape (in much the same way those other areas of our lives have already influenced this decision) the others.
The week after we returned from the Cotswolds, we began playing an ongoing game of this or that. “Well, you can buy those shoes, oooor we can get an extra cat at the ranch. Do you want to grab Thai food tonight or would you rather put that towards getting a sheep at the ranch?” 😉 In all seriousness, having a specific goal in mind helps me make those day-to-day decisions. It is little wonder that in goal setting exercises moderators have you envision your 10-year dreams and back up from there. It not only helps you determine the building blocks to achieve those dreams, but helps prioritize the present, making decision-making a whole lot easier.
I came back from our trip so excited! Giddy, even.
Obviously, this dream may change! Scott may stay in the Air Force for more than 20 years or get an incredible job nowhere near the mountains. I may do the same. Or we may decide that instead of visiting Texas and South Carolina a few times a year, we choose one location to make home and settle down closer to our families. Who knows! But for now, this is what we want for our future. And by working towards it, we’ll be that much more prepared for whatever comes our way, even if life ends up taking us in a completely different direction.
Reisen, Abenteuer, und Love. 